Smile and you just may feel happy; have you heard that
one before? In a recent recording, a podcaster
familiar to many reminds us of that simple technique,
waxing philosophical on the ancient question
(unanswered by too many). I agree with that Dave; his
method is sound. Yet how does one fix the smile that's
pulled downward by weak and dying cells? They say it's
less work to smile than to frown; the loss of strength
makes any work painful, any work at all. A price is
paid for a gesture.

It is a surreal experience, witnessing this process, a
dying at home. I feel at times uncertain of my role,
that I don't belong here, somehow trespassing,
violating what is perhaps the most private of
experiences, that final time together. Yet I am
requested here, and perhaps needed. He's otherwise
alone as she struggles upstream, and it is often
horrifying: the oxygen tank and its tubes, the mixture
of awareness and confusion in her face, attempting to
live while gradually moving toward those inevitable
stages of acceptance and loss of breath.

Grand, a bridge as roof for those who call the sidewalk "floor", the street "den". Downtown live people, without Internet.

• "SkypeStalking Ben Walker" [6.7MB MP3 stream or download]


• "Cinco de Mayo SkypeOut" [2.4MB MP3 stream or download]