Something That Happened.

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Stories by Harold, in a variety of formats - including text, audio, video, and podcasts.

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Thursday, September 11, 2003

Regrets...
I've had a few.
But then again,
Too few to mention!

--"My Way",
written by Paul Anka

When I hear that song, I think of Frank Sinatra, and sometimes Elvis or Sid Vicious -- all of whom have been known to perform, in their own unique manner, that wonderful song. Wonderful because -- though I don't always enjoy hearing it, I've heard it so much -- the song is a wonderful personal anthem. That's something we all need: a personal anthem. A song that praises our individuality; a mark of devotion to oneself. After all, they say you're going to have a helluva time loving anyone else unless you've first learned to love yourself, right?

This is not to replace your love for your God, or your spouse, or your family. I'm simply saying that we all need to give ourselves a bit more self-love at this time of year. (No, not that type of self-love !) Too many of us beat up on ourselves throughout the year, and then nearly destroy ourselves at year's end. No wonder there are so many suicides during the Holidays; the messages bombarding us are to Buy Buy Buy and to Give Give Give -- but what if you have nothing to give but love? If you have a dearth of that good stuff, then you'll have a bitch of a time spreading it around to your neighbors.

So be good to yourself, whether you're Christian, Pagan, Wiccan, Athiest, Hindu, Islamic, Mormon, Podcastin, or otherwise. Don't take the pills, they won't do you or anyone else any good; you'll simply miss out on the Next Big Thing (which may turn out to be Your Next Big Thing). Just do things your own way, singing that little hymn as you do so:

For what is a man,
What has he got?
If not himself,
Then he has naught.
To say the things,
He truly feels,
And not the words,
Of one who kneels.
The record shows,
I took the blows
And did it my way!

Thursday, October 30, 2003

A difficult day, leaving mom in the Assisted Living facility. I had a tremendous amount of trouble letting her go. I wanted to maintain eye contact until the moment we parted (Why is it I'm so obsessed with doing that?), but found one of the staff members, N___, drawing her away from me toward the Activities Room, as mom silently protested/submitted. So my last glimpse of her was from behind, as she was led to her new life.

Luckily, dad was waiting outside. I don't know how well I would have handled this had I followed my morning plan--walking as far as I could toward Westwood until I could walk no longer, then catching a cab or one of the few remaining buses still running in this city while the MTA strike continues. So dad drove us, while the fires raged on, the smoke now covering the landscape like a dirty screen door--a shabby view of the city, but one filled with hope, a renewal--for with the burn comes restoral, a change and a return to order. In fact, even while the fire rages on, the world is still in its natural state; as the dead trees are being consumed and unwelcome houses are being scorched and torched and burned to the ground, the world smiles benignly, for it realizes that all is well and normal--everything just seems more heightened now, but that's because we're not used to the flares that are supposed to erupt from time to time.

So burn, baby, burn, and return me to my sanctuary, a place not far from mother's womb. Wake me with a smile right now, because I'm tired, and sore, and my heart hurts. Rub my belly and coo in my ear. If there was ever a time I needed it, that time is now, as the fires still threaten to consume the towns. As far as I'm concerned, those towns can burn right down to the ground--nature never welcomed us there, for she wants to grow, and burn, and be her wild uninhibited self. But let's walk away with unscorched hearts--let us heal, and grow, and learn to accept nature's nature, and let the fire in my heart flare down to a steady candle, as it once was.

posted by Harold 10/30/2003 01:59:00 AM | 0 Comments | Links to this post

Businesses in Huntsville, Alabama

I once posted, in this space (this right column), the following:

If I had friends they would be listed here

That particular bit o' text, that silly and idiotic phrase, was repeated a dozen or two dozen or so times and was intended to be temporary. I had been working on a project -- a new layout for this blog -- and had intended for that text to be placeholder content. That is, the text was supposed to temporarily replace the content that had previously occupied this column (which was a list of links to friends -- that is, other blogs and web sites I linked to). I didn't know what content I was going to place into that (this) space, so I placed a bunch of duplicate phrases here as a placeholder so that I would remember to fill in this space again later.

At the same time, I thought I was being cute with the heading:

NEW & IMPROVED FRIENDS!

The fact remains: I still don't know what content to put here, in this column. Links again? Pictures? Video? Audio? ~~Ads? Oh, hell no!~~ It hasn't come to me yet, but I'm sure it will eventually, and when it does it'll come quick and (as usual) with consequences.