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Thursday, September 11, 2003

Regrets...
I've had a few.
But then again,
Too few to mention!
--"My Way",
written by Paul Anka
When I hear that song, I think of Frank Sinatra, and sometimes Elvis or Sid Vicious -- all of whom have been known to perform, in their own unique manner, that wonderful song. Wonderful because -- though I don't always enjoy hearing it, I've heard it so much -- the song is a wonderful personal anthem. That's something we all need: a personal anthem. A song that praises our individuality; a mark of devotion to oneself. After all, they say you're going to have a helluva time loving anyone else unless you've first learned to love yourself, right?

This is not to replace your love for your God, or your spouse, or your family. I'm simply saying that we all need to give ourselves a bit more self-love at this time of year. (No, not that type of self-love !) Too many of us beat up on ourselves throughout the year, and then nearly destroy ourselves at year's end. No wonder there are so many suicides during the Holidays; the messages bombarding us are to Buy Buy Buy and to Give Give Give -- but what if you have nothing to give but love? If you have a dearth of that good stuff, then you'll have a bitch of a time spreading it around to your neighbors.

So be good to yourself, whether you're Christian, Pagan, Wiccan, Athiest, Hindu, Islamic, Mormon, Podcastin, or otherwise. Don't take the pills, they won't do you or anyone else any good; you'll simply miss out on the Next Big Thing (which may turn out to be Your Next Big Thing). Just do things your own way, singing that little hymn as you do so:
For what is a man,
What has he got?
If not himself,
Then he has naught.
To say the things,
He truly feels,
And not the words,
Of one who kneels.
The record shows,
I took the blows
And did it my way!

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Sick fucks. They couldn't keep me down if they wanted to. I'll tear 'em apart.

Doesn't that sound scary? It's just fun to say: Sick fucks. They couldn't keep me down if they wanted to. I'll tear 'em apart. Just kind of rolls off your tongue, doesn't it? Sometimes you just have to say awful things--it just feels good. Just don't say them on the bus, like that crazy lady screaming "Johnny" for two hours on the ride from downtown to the beach. Purge yourself in the privacy of your home, or at the beach--preferably in the surf, with the sound of the waves drowning out your voice.

Also, talk dirty to your girlfriend (or boyfriend) once in awhile--(s)he may dig it. I know, it's another thing altogether, but still: Suck it. Fuck it. Lick it. She: Stick it. See how fun that is? Remember, folks, this is all for pleasure. It's like being in a movie; it's playacting. So enjoy yourselves--just don't wake up the neighbors.

[This Public Service Announcement was brought to you by Harold of VoyagerRadio.]

Perhaps my foul mouth is being partially influenced by one of the books I'm currently reading, Twelve. Written by Nick McDonell when he was 17, the book follows the life of a few teenagers living the fast-paced life in New York City. Absent parents, rampant drugs, open house parties, blowjobs--this is the language of the novel, which flows breathles--oh, fuck it, I'm not going to write a book review. Just read the damn thing if you want to. Hunter S. Thompson did, and so did Joan Didion, and now I am.

And shame on me for blaming my foul mouth on a novel. That's not right--the novel has nothing to do with it. I just felt like being foul-mouthed today, dig? So have a nice day, okay, and don't mind my bawdiness.

All this vulgarity brings to mind an ideal setting for being foul, the Renaissance Faire. It's been more than a few years since I've attended the event, and it would be a great place to release all this nastiness. In the spirit of fun, of course.
posted by Harold  2/25/2004 10:52:00 AM
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I once posted, in this space (this right column), the following:

If I had friends they would be listed here

That particular bit o' text, that silly and idiotic phrase, was repeated a dozen or two dozen or so times and was intended to be temporary. I had been working on a project -- a new layout for this blog -- and had intended for that text to be placeholder content. That is, the text was supposed to temporarily replace the content that had previously occupied this column (which was a list of links to friends -- that is, other blogs and web sites I linked to). I didn't know what content I was going to place into that (this) space, so I placed a bunch of duplicate phrases here as a placeholder so that I would remember to fill in this space again later.

At the same time, I thought I was being cute with the heading:

NEW & IMPROVED FRIENDS!

The fact remains: I still don't know what content to put here, in this column. Links again? Pictures? Video? Audio? Ads? Oh, hell no! It hasn't come to me yet, but I'm sure it will eventually, and when it does it'll come quick and (as usual) with consequences.