Something That Happened.

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Thursday, September 11, 2003

Regrets...
I've had a few.
But then again,
Too few to mention!
--"My Way",
written by Paul Anka
When I hear that song, I think of Frank Sinatra, and sometimes Elvis or Sid Vicious -- all of whom have been known to perform, in their own unique manner, that wonderful song. Wonderful because -- though I don't always enjoy hearing it, I've heard it so much -- the song is a wonderful personal anthem. That's something we all need: a personal anthem. A song that praises our individuality; a mark of devotion to oneself. After all, they say you're going to have a helluva time loving anyone else unless you've first learned to love yourself, right?

This is not to replace your love for your God, or your spouse, or your family. I'm simply saying that we all need to give ourselves a bit more self-love at this time of year. (No, not that type of self-love !) Too many of us beat up on ourselves throughout the year, and then nearly destroy ourselves at year's end. No wonder there are so many suicides during the Holidays; the messages bombarding us are to Buy Buy Buy and to Give Give Give -- but what if you have nothing to give but love? If you have a dearth of that good stuff, then you'll have a bitch of a time spreading it around to your neighbors.

So be good to yourself, whether you're Christian, Pagan, Wiccan, Athiest, Hindu, Islamic, Mormon, Podcastin, or otherwise. Don't take the pills, they won't do you or anyone else any good; you'll simply miss out on the Next Big Thing (which may turn out to be Your Next Big Thing). Just do things your own way, singing that little hymn as you do so:
For what is a man,
What has he got?
If not himself,
Then he has naught.
To say the things,
He truly feels,
And not the words,
Of one who kneels.
The record shows,
I took the blows
And did it my way!

Thursday, January 29, 2004

So the day went well. I was nervous, of course, but not as nervous as I expected to be. I'd taken a Xanax with me as a security blanket, but I found I didn't need it--the day went rather smoothly. I woke up without too much effort, had a good breakfast at a local diner, and strolled into the temp agency about 10 minutes early. The fact that I wasn't running into the office out of breath and sweating from rushing to make it on time probably kept me more relaxed than usual. I have a terrible habit of arriving late for everything. I don't know what it is with me; it's one of my worst qualities. It's that 800-pound gorrilla I just can't shake; it's my downfall. Future employers beware: I'm not your punctual employee. But when I do arrive, you can bet your ass I'll get the job done--and usually, more thoroughly than most of your other employees.

Thoroughly, however, is not always better for a company's immediate goals, and therein lay my other fault: I have a nasty habit of perfectionism that has a knack of getting in the way of flexibility (or prioritizing). For example, I'm that type of person who won't let go of a project until I've completely seen it through to perfection. Most of the time, I can't stand leaving something "well enough"--if I know I can make it better, I won't stop until I've seen it through. I'm relentless--if I was a programmer, I'd be Linus Torvalds, attempting to code perfect applications. If I was a musician, I'd be Trent Reznor, working solitarily for years to create only the fullest aural textures. Unfortunately, I'm neither, and until I find a way of balancing my innate attention to detail with most company's goals, I'll have a helluva time holding a job. This is one reason I'd be the ideal person to run his own business: I have vision, and I see it through.

The reality is, I need to make money somewhere before I'll ever have a chance of starting my own business. So I need to learn how to prioritize the bottom dollar for any company I work for, and leave my perfectionism at my own front door.

Man, am I in trouble.
posted by Harold  1/29/2004 08:20:00 PM
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I once posted, in this space (this right column), the following:

If I had friends they would be listed here

That particular bit o' text, that silly and idiotic phrase, was repeated a dozen or two dozen or so times and was intended to be temporary. I had been working on a project -- a new layout for this blog -- and had intended for that text to be placeholder content. That is, the text was supposed to temporarily replace the content that had previously occupied this column (which was a list of links to friends -- that is, other blogs and web sites I linked to). I didn't know what content I was going to place into that (this) space, so I placed a bunch of duplicate phrases here as a placeholder so that I would remember to fill in this space again later.

At the same time, I thought I was being cute with the heading:

NEW & IMPROVED FRIENDS!

The fact remains: I still don't know what content to put here, in this column. Links again? Pictures? Video? Audio? Ads? Oh, hell no! It hasn't come to me yet, but I'm sure it will eventually, and when it does it'll come quick and (as usual) with consequences.